testing season.

It is that dreaded time of the year for every parent with a child who has/had autism or any of the spectrum disorders...reassessment time.

One would think that since Maddy is in Remission that testing season wouldn't be so nerve wracking for us. But it is. I don't know what it's like to have a child who had PDD and went through retesting and was "upgraded" to Autism or Asperger's or what have you on the outcome. I don't know what it's like to have a child with autism and after retesting still has autism. I do know what I know. And I know is that it's hard no matter what the circumstances are. Because let's face it, your child could have a really horrible day and the outcome is drastically worse then reality. Or your child could be totally on top of their game and have a more dramatic outcome then reality. Kids are kids. They, like us, have their good days and their bad days. You can prep and study and help them but ultimately it is up to them.

And these are kids that are young. The younger you are the less predictable you are, in my experience.

I'm not bashing the system...it is what it is and without it, we wouldn't have what we have. And I can't say that any of Maddy's test results (though she is still in the middle of them until July) have come back skewed. They have been exactly what I expected so obviously the system works in our case. I know what Maddy can and cannot do...but that doesn't mean I don't still worry!

She had her Speech and OT assessments last week and like I said, I was not surprised by the outcomes. Thank God. I did get to watch her this time which is new, usually the parent is far too distracting for the child so we have to step out but I guess at 2 days shy of 4, I was no longer distracting for Maddy.

Speech was up first. I must say that I LOVE Maddy's SLP, Jen! I do. I honestly love that woman. She has been with us since the beginning and I trust she knows our Maddy's speech abilities as well as we do!

There they were testing. I was amazed at Maddy's skills. She was wonderful. I went into that testing not having any concerns over her speech abilities (minus grammar but she is only 4) and the outcome was just that. She did amazing and Jen had no concerns and nothing to see her for! She tested within the norm for 4 year olds and even some scores on the higher end of normal.

She sat for nearly 1.5 and did this! That was extraordinary in itself.

So we shuffled off to OT. We already had concerns on her lacking OT skills and she had just sat for over an hour testing her speech skills. It's kind of the equivalent of doing your homework: you have 2 projects to do, one is easier for you but it's still going to take awhile and the other is hard. You chose the easier yet more time consuming one and by the time you get to the harder assignment, you are already taxed on your mental ability.

We let Maddy play for a few minutes in the balls while I spoke with Steph, her OT.

And I must say that I love Stehanie just as much as I love Jen! She, also,  has been with Maddy from the beginning. She has seen Maddy at her best and her worst. Maddy had mastered her OT for her age last year around this time and we were thrilled. Stephanie wanted to keep an eye on her and had been evaluating her every 3 - 6 months.

She had not seen Maddy in 6 months and while Maddy had made huge gains in those months, her OT skills had not really grown much. She still has trouble with her pencil grip. Her hands get tired easy and she just doesn't want to sit and do fine motor activities. She's not a child that likes to sit and color. That is torture for her. She would love to sit and read a book or sit and play with her Mario guys but to color? Ugh. No thank you.

I could tell she was getting to a breaking point and I quickly grabbed a rice crispy bar in hopes to give her some sugary energy. She didn't really want to build with blocks, something she doesn't normally struggle with.

She did her best with a few outbursts. Maddy is a pretty happy, easy going child...but when she is done. She is DONE. And the outbursts will only get worse if left unattended. Some kids just shut down and refuse...she's not quite that bad...but her patience doesn't last long when she is reaching her breaking point. But let's face it. She is FOUR YEARS OLD. What four year old would put up with being tested for nearly 3 hours?? Not many.

We got some tips from Stephanie and we are to see her again in 3 months with hopefully some dramatic improvement or we will be looking at OT sessions again. I'm not overly worried. I don't really want to travel and do OT once or twice week again, but if we need to, we will. That's just how it is.

Today I did her GARS, Vineland, and Child Behavior Checklist...another yearly daunting task. Any time you have to answer multiple questionnaires with 100+ questions on your child's behavior, it's exhausting. Am I overly worried about any kind of spectrum re-diagnosis or regression? No. Frankly no. I can say that with honesty since we visited with Dr. MAL 2 months ago and she was very excited about how well Maddy was doing. Does Maddy still have things to conquer? Yes. She still likes to chew on everything. She needs help with her OT skills. Is it enough to warrant fear? No.

I am forever thankful. She has her good days and her not-so-good days. She is going through a very defiant stage and challenging our parental authority....like any other 3-4 year old. Eva did this at 3, Maelle did it at 3.5, so of course Maddy will do it at 4. I have the luxury of remembering just how awful Eva was at this phase and seeing what a joy she is now at 6. One of the various reasons why siblings can be such a blessing for children AND parents.

Maddy sees her pediatrician tomorrow for her yearly check up. We will see Dr. MAL on June 27th. She will have scored up our questionnaires and we discuss Maddy's 1st year of Remission from Autism.

As always, praise God.