unsolicated.

I do have alot to say. I have much to report on as far as our Puzzle Event, our "good-bye to ABA" party and things.

I will get to those items. I'm just having a hard time finding the time to blog lately. As soon as one part of our journey slows, another part speeds up. I am not complaining. It's just been a bit eye opening as I thought as soon as ABA ended that things would ease up a bit and the truth is that while from Maddy's perspective, they have, but not for me. Granted, I do NOT spend my evenings staring at data sheets anymore nor to I spend my Monday nights holed up in my pseudo office trying to piece together material for our Monday night meetings.

Either way, we're all adjusting to life without ABA and soon enough, we'll be adjusting to summer and the break from preschool. The end of our state provided Early Intervention Services as the girls turn 3. Summer Speech Camp for Maddy and life in general with a 5 year old and 3 year old twins.

I will admit that things are easier. It's almost scary to say that. But it's true. Gone are the days when I couldn't go to the store alone with all my kids. I don't even remember the last time I have had to use the double stroller that I so heavily depended on not long ago. As we prepare for our trip to Indiana, I don't even know if we'll bring it. Both are so independent now that the stroller would be more of a nuisance now than anything.

So, with this new found freedom, I found myself with the twins at the store on Friday after speech therapy. I was gathering materials for our "Goodbye to ABA" party and the girls were being very good. Remarkably good. We definitely have awesome days and not so awesome days but this is normal. It is normal to have days when your nearly 3 year old twins don't want to comply to a single word that is coming out of your mouth. It is normal to have days when they are complete angel children.

Either way, it was a great day. As we pushed the cart into the check out lane, I got the inevitable, "Are they twins?" from the cashier. A mid-50s looking woman with a smile on her face.

I smiled taking a secret tally in my brain on how many zillion times I have been asked this question. "yes, they are."

"Oh one must look like dad and the other like mom."

"yes," I respond again.

"How old are they?" At this point, this is seemingly normal conversation for me and any random stranger.

"3 weeks from 3."

"My grandsons are 3. They're twins too." She shared with me, then out of the blue asks, "are they potty trained?"

Weird, but ok. "One of them is and the other is working on it." Ironic since not only was I buying party supplies but I was also buying Maelle's Good Job Potty Training  presents (that consisted of baby toys...as in a baby crib, baby swing, baby highchair...because she loves to play with her babies) for finally being fully potty trained.

She frowned at me. "Oh really?"

I kinda chuckled and said, "yes, and that's fine with me. I'd rather do one at a time then dealing with both of them at the same time."

"We didn't want to do that. We wanted to be done with it at once. My grandsons are potty trained," she clearly bragged at me.

"Good for them," I said honestly. Knowing what a relief it is to have potty trained children and how relieving it will be when all of mine are.

"You should really get her potty trained. Really. Before she is 3." She said in a pushy tone.

I shrug, getting agitated. "We're working on it."

I'm fairly certain that the girls must have distracted the conversation at that point. I don't remember much more than that. 

Part of me really wanted to stop that woman and try my best to explain to her what Maddy has accomplished in the past months that most children will not be able to boast about. She has nearly conquered Autism in those months.

Part of me rejoices that the next hurdle we have to cross is potty training. Something as normal as potty training. I no longer have to worry about trying to get her brain to make the connection that I'm in the room or that I'm her mother or that I'm talking to her or that I want her to want to be near me. I no longer have to worry that she doesn't care about the world around her. She no longer has the blank face but a face full of hope and love and joy and spitfire. The face of a child. Not the face of hollow fear.

I am slowly being able to accept her new behavior that is normal for a nearly three year old. Granted, she has her quirks, I am not denying that. She still does rock at night instead of sleep...we're working on it. She does repeat phrases like "hi, I'm Maddy" to me, as if I, the woman who named her, wouldn't already know that. But again, we're working on it. Socially, she is doing really well. That is the main concern. Can she socially interact and yes, she can. Does she still have moments where you can see in her eyes that she is getting near her limit of stimulation...yes? But those are few and far between. She is still 2. Even at 3, this is socially acceptable behavior. She is behaving in a way that her twin does and all it really takes is to ask ourselves, "would Maelle do this?" If the answer is yes...we can rest easy. If not, we access and deal with it.

I know that woman had no idea. She just saw happy nearly three year old twins. She saw a potty trained child and one that wears Pull-Ups. She did not see neuro-typical twin and twin with autism. Yes, we can be happy about that.

Don't get me wrong, there's still a part of me that kinda wanted to emotionally slap that woman for the judgement she threw at me. I'm pretty sure that is normal too. heh.