The big time gaps between posts are a good thing. Maybe not for you guys...but for us it is! It means that life is "normal" and there aren't major things to write about - other than the usual I cannot believe she was sooo lost and now she is sooo back and she is awesome! posts.
And honestly that is how life has been cruising along. Maddy being Maddy - still with her oral issue of chewing things and sometimes quite literal in her thinking but overall, just the average kid. She is impulsive and active. Always smiling and happy. A nonstop chatterbox - hard to imagine we had to WORK to get her to talk...now it is absolute WORK to get her to STOP TALKING!!!
We chose to homeschool her...and all the girls this year. It was the best fit for our family and our love for dog mushing continues to increase so when winter hit - we hit the trails with the dogs. Easier to do when they kids are stuck in school all day.
It has been a blessing to watch her learn and see how her brain works. She is an "all or nothing" kid. So if she can't spell "ate" correctly the first time...expect massive fireworks out of her. She does not like getting anything wrong. But that is manageable. Really, who likes to be told their answer is wrong?! None of us, really. Her emotions are on her sleeve and ready to bounce at any minute.
Man...do we love her!
This past weekend, we had a first. It was the first wedding for our girls to attend. They were all so thrilled (what girl doesn't love a wedding?!) and excited! The dress! The dancing! The ceremony! Not to mention that both the bride and groom are very close to me - the bride worked for Justin one summer and both were youth kids at one time in the youth group I volunteer with.
All was well until we reached the reception. I did my best to prepare and explain every part of the day so there would be less confusion. Kids like to know what to expect...especially my kids. So I figured they were aptly prepared. I was wrong.
I forgot about one detail.
Maddy has very sensitive hearing. A sensory setback that for awhile hindered her from public events due to noise. If she knows it will be loud, she does better. She went to her first basketball game this spring and did amazing! Yes, the buzzer bugged her at first but once used to it...she did great. This was something we (Justin and I) never thought she would be able to do. Basketball games are noisy!
The kind of noise at the reception was typical of any kind of gathering with a bunch of people who may or may not have seen each other for awhile. There were conversations all over the place and Maddy absolutely shut down.
She climbed into my lap, hugged her head against my chest, and plugged her ears. Every so often she would pop her head out and then back she would go. I was confused at first because this was so not normal for her. Then I put my "sensory brain" on and realized that hearing bits and pieces of several people's conversations was absolutely mind numbing. Overwhelming. Noise.
I thought back to the moment hesitation that I had at the door of my house before we left for the wedding...I had paused wondering if I should bring her noise cancelling headphones (we use them for concerts and parades and anytime we know it will be loud) and then shrugged it off, thinking...she's fine.
ugh, mothers do NOT ignore those crazy instincts!!!
So we sat in the corner of the reception. Maddy hugging me and zoning out as she fingered my necklace. A moment that I had not experienced in years. A moment of pain. A moment of exclusion. My heart was aching. I wanted to converse with people but would not dare leave her. We all know that when Maddy is not her happy self...she wants me...and only me.
Thinking back to that moment makes me fight back tears. It caught me so off guard. So unexpected. I felt like I failed to protect her. Sure, kids need to fail sometimes. They need to experience loss. They need to feel those things that make them human so they can grow. Yet, when it is something so biological, so beyond their control...us mamas want to protect. We just do.
I tried to remain as upbeat as possible. It was just a wedding reception after all...if this was the worst of it...really...so she hates big crowds. I hate big crowds too...but for other reasons.
Then as if God sent her Himself, a friend of the family came over and began gently and quietly having a conversation with Maddy. It was a bit forced at first. Maddy didn't want to have much to do with her...but given who she was...eventually she slowly grew more and more out of the shell she had encased herself in for protection. She began to chatter about Mario (oh such an "Asperger's type" of subject for her...she will go on forever about Mario) and smile up at her friend.
And somehow I found myself sitting alone at the table as she had bounded off to play with her friend and dance (!) on the dance floor with her.
The music started...the conversations died...and life was okay again.
God, You never cease to amaze me as You work in her life. I thought I had an idea of what God's love looked like until Maddy came along. And then He showed me an entirely new depth and level that I could not fathom. He showed me how He truly does save the lost. How He is always working. Always loving. Always doing exactly what a Father would be doing for His child.
Never, ever, despair...God is always working. Waiting is the hardest but His plan is the best.
And honestly that is how life has been cruising along. Maddy being Maddy - still with her oral issue of chewing things and sometimes quite literal in her thinking but overall, just the average kid. She is impulsive and active. Always smiling and happy. A nonstop chatterbox - hard to imagine we had to WORK to get her to talk...now it is absolute WORK to get her to STOP TALKING!!!
We chose to homeschool her...and all the girls this year. It was the best fit for our family and our love for dog mushing continues to increase so when winter hit - we hit the trails with the dogs. Easier to do when they kids are stuck in school all day.
It has been a blessing to watch her learn and see how her brain works. She is an "all or nothing" kid. So if she can't spell "ate" correctly the first time...expect massive fireworks out of her. She does not like getting anything wrong. But that is manageable. Really, who likes to be told their answer is wrong?! None of us, really. Her emotions are on her sleeve and ready to bounce at any minute.
Man...do we love her!
This past weekend, we had a first. It was the first wedding for our girls to attend. They were all so thrilled (what girl doesn't love a wedding?!) and excited! The dress! The dancing! The ceremony! Not to mention that both the bride and groom are very close to me - the bride worked for Justin one summer and both were youth kids at one time in the youth group I volunteer with.
All was well until we reached the reception. I did my best to prepare and explain every part of the day so there would be less confusion. Kids like to know what to expect...especially my kids. So I figured they were aptly prepared. I was wrong.
I forgot about one detail.
Maddy has very sensitive hearing. A sensory setback that for awhile hindered her from public events due to noise. If she knows it will be loud, she does better. She went to her first basketball game this spring and did amazing! Yes, the buzzer bugged her at first but once used to it...she did great. This was something we (Justin and I) never thought she would be able to do. Basketball games are noisy!
The kind of noise at the reception was typical of any kind of gathering with a bunch of people who may or may not have seen each other for awhile. There were conversations all over the place and Maddy absolutely shut down.
She climbed into my lap, hugged her head against my chest, and plugged her ears. Every so often she would pop her head out and then back she would go. I was confused at first because this was so not normal for her. Then I put my "sensory brain" on and realized that hearing bits and pieces of several people's conversations was absolutely mind numbing. Overwhelming. Noise.
I thought back to the moment hesitation that I had at the door of my house before we left for the wedding...I had paused wondering if I should bring her noise cancelling headphones (we use them for concerts and parades and anytime we know it will be loud) and then shrugged it off, thinking...she's fine.
ugh, mothers do NOT ignore those crazy instincts!!!
So we sat in the corner of the reception. Maddy hugging me and zoning out as she fingered my necklace. A moment that I had not experienced in years. A moment of pain. A moment of exclusion. My heart was aching. I wanted to converse with people but would not dare leave her. We all know that when Maddy is not her happy self...she wants me...and only me.
Thinking back to that moment makes me fight back tears. It caught me so off guard. So unexpected. I felt like I failed to protect her. Sure, kids need to fail sometimes. They need to experience loss. They need to feel those things that make them human so they can grow. Yet, when it is something so biological, so beyond their control...us mamas want to protect. We just do.
I tried to remain as upbeat as possible. It was just a wedding reception after all...if this was the worst of it...really...so she hates big crowds. I hate big crowds too...but for other reasons.
Then as if God sent her Himself, a friend of the family came over and began gently and quietly having a conversation with Maddy. It was a bit forced at first. Maddy didn't want to have much to do with her...but given who she was...eventually she slowly grew more and more out of the shell she had encased herself in for protection. She began to chatter about Mario (oh such an "Asperger's type" of subject for her...she will go on forever about Mario) and smile up at her friend.
And somehow I found myself sitting alone at the table as she had bounded off to play with her friend and dance (!) on the dance floor with her.
The music started...the conversations died...and life was okay again.
God, You never cease to amaze me as You work in her life. I thought I had an idea of what God's love looked like until Maddy came along. And then He showed me an entirely new depth and level that I could not fathom. He showed me how He truly does save the lost. How He is always working. Always loving. Always doing exactly what a Father would be doing for His child.
Never, ever, despair...God is always working. Waiting is the hardest but His plan is the best.
