nothing bitty about it.

So I caved.

I am usually pretty good about telling my kids no. In fact, most of the time they just assume that the answer out of my mouth is going to be no that they get that shocked and excited look on their face when they hear yes.

This past week, Maddy's older sister - Eva - celebrated her birthday early. Eva loves American Girl and this year we happened to be in Minneapolis so we treated her to a trip to the actual AG store and lunch at the Bistro.

Maddy did what every other sibling does and tagged along for the pre-birthday celebration and was pretty jolly about it all. Maddy has an exceptional ability to be happy for her sisters when they get to celebrate things - it is a rare talent as most of us - all of us - struggle with jealousy.

It was a busy day full of change, travel, last minute plan changes and lots of noise. All things that would throw any kid off their behavior and when you add the sensory issues...it is a tough day all around.

After spending many hours in the store as Eva contemplated all of her choices (there were literally hundreds of them, that store is crazy!) Maddy was near meltdown material.

She wanted a Bitty Baby Twin.

Bitty Babies are the newest American Girl thing - geared toward the younger kids - Bitties are not quite as particular as the 8+ age level that most American Girl dolls are.

And boy did she want one. To the point where I knew I needed to get her out of the store. Pronto. She was tired. Overwhelmed and just DONE with everything. I did not want a full out meltdown in the AG store. I didn't want a meltdown period but meltdowns in public quickly escalate to all the other parents looking at your kid and thinking "wow what a freaking brat!"

I could tell that both Eva and twinsie Maelle could sense the impending meltdown too as we were all just agitated. We needed to get out. But I could not let her "win" either.

Somehow the words, "let's go swimming!" left my voice and a trigger switch went off and instant calm came over her face. Swimming. Yes. I had promised swimming. Swimming it is.

We grabbed hands and marched out of the store and I drew in a big breath of relief for diverting a huge meltdown and I batted away tears in my eyes as I knew that there was so much frustration swelling in my girl's body. Not because she wanted something.  Because what she wanted is a sense of calm and peace that I can't give her.

Crisis Diverted.

Only temporarily.

The next morning, she promptly woke up and asked if she could get her Bitty Baby today. Using her money saved and some early birthday money like her older sister - surely the Baby was hers.

We had a busy day planned for Justin's work and she promised to be good. She was.

And as we drove to the Mall of America, to again visit the AG store...I said to Justin what we were both thinking, "she wants a baby doll. Like an actual baby doll. Something so normal. Not a video game or a stuffy from a video game or anything electronically related. She wanted a doll to play along with her sisters. To take care of and love."

This was a such a huge milestone for her.

A baby doll.

How could I say no? Like honestly, we had been praying and searching to find ways for her to branch out of her video game land and play with toys and other kids and mimic life. How could anything be better than a toy that teaches life skills??

So I caved.

Something this big - something like her wanting what every other little girl wants. To watch her care for her baby - Phoebe Coral Robinson - is priceless. It really is.

So don't judge me. My kid has one of those over priced dolls. I guarantee you - she earned every piece of this bitty baby.

Small bitty steps we are taking. Some forward and some backward but God is good and constantly showing us just how much Maddy is amazing.